“How long must I pray to You?
How long must I wait for You?
How long ’til I see Your face, see You shining through?
I’m on my knees begging You to notice me.
I’m on my knees; Father, will You turn to me?”
The lyrics are from “Hold my Heart” by Tenth Avenue North. To me, it’s like a modern Psalm, words spoken from the depth of a heart not afraid to ask the difficult questions.
I used to think it was somewhat sacrilegious to ask those difficult questions, to ask God “Why?” But anyone who reads books of the Bible such as Psalms and Job will see that men of God were not afraid to ask those searching questions.
The Book of Jeremiah quotes God saying, “You shall seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart” (v. 29:13). It was a verse I knew from the time I was a child, so I never gave it much thought. But searching, with all your heart? Doesn’t sound like a walk on the beach. Sounds more like weeping from the depths of your heart in a gloomy garden at night. We might not receive the answers right away; we might not always get the answers we like. But part of the solution is found in the searching, and if we fail to ask, we will doubtless never find the answer.
If you have questions on your heart, don’t be afraid to ask them. But turn them toward the One Who holds the answers, and you, in His loving hands.
He is the one who holds your heart, and He will keep it safe.